Sometimes, your soulmate isn’t just applicable to someone who is romantic. It could be your mother, your father, a best friend… Someone who truly connects with you, to the core, someone who understands you. It could be someone you could share one look with, and they know exactly what you’re about to say. It could be someone who knows you from the inside out, not for merely what the world sees you for. They could be your person. They could be your go-to, the first person you think of sharing news with after a long day of work. It could be the person you see yourself sharing new experiences with. It could be the person who makes you happiest, and more ironically, miserable. It could be the one person who has been there through thick and thin. It might be a friend you spend long summer days with to reconvene whenever you can throughout the year. It might be the person that you’re always worried about.
For me, that person is you.
I just want to wake up to you.
Without ever really being surrounded by people my age, always being surrounded my adults instead, I’ve never felt like I truly belonged. Either that or that nobody really, I mean really understood me. The friends I became close with were there, but were mostly fickle, said they’d stay but eventually developed the same habit of leaving. It was a ritual, a normality, and I stopped looking for excuses as to what happened. Life happened, for the most part, and shit happened. There was no avoiding that, it was inevitable.
And then there was you. I don’t know how through all the bullshit, you saw me for who I was, I don’t know how you earned my trust, or my heart, but you did. And you’ve kept it since we’ve met. It’s been a very long time, and I’m glad to say that you’re my best friend, my lover, all my what-if’s, my future, and my everything.
“…If things were different,
You know it’d be you,
It has always been you.”
It’s a peculiar thing, really.
It is the end-all and be-all. It travels and transcends time, all at once. It is an emotion, and a place. You feel it rush through your veins, radiate from your bones, and you reek of it. You fall into it and you get lost in it. You explore the depths of it. You express it to others, both physically and mentally. It is the cure. It is happiness, it is devotion, and sacrifice. It is a good deed in itself. It is an offering, a tithing, a movement, and it can move mountains, hilltops, and cities. It is a voice, it is song, melody, harmony, it is a ballad and a slow jam. It is a best friend, and can be probably your worst enemy. It is adventure and safety. It is timeless.
Love, you never cease to amaze me.
as you left, you contradicted yourself. you asked me to be happy, but failed to see the fact that you were my happiness.
I still remember that night. The first night we spoke on the phone. The first time I heard your voice. We had been up late, me because of heartbreak, and you because of illness. We were messed up, and probably still are. Little did you know, you saved me that night, and all the nights thereafter.
I could hear you sniffling, and the way that you rubbed your nose to stop it from itching and causing you to sneeze. I remember my orientation on the couch that night, with my glasses on and tears dampening my face, still hidden by covers, my leg resting on the top of the couch, and my stance just screaming forlorn. I wanted to hide from the world, but not you. I didn’t know why. You had a certain calm to your voice, even if it was hoarse and filled with phlegm. You brought me a sense of peace. You still do. I remember sharing laughs and thoughts that night, with George Lopez playing in the background and then Sweet Home Alabama (N*ggas) lol
I might have brought it up before, but I’m so glad I really “met” you that night.
I dreamt so big with you.
Truth is, there is always that one person that can make everything else seem nonexistent, and even your worst days could be turned around completely from hearing from them. Love, man, is a magic all its own.
I don’t understand how someone can love me so much as to give up everything, but there you were in all your glory, as you always do. You were made for me, and God, it’s become so clear now. You accept me for everything that I am and everything that I’m not, and you don’t even yearn to change any fiber of my being, but all you want to do with your time is to love me? To treasure me? I’ve never been so grateful of someone so kind and compassionate, someone who is so selfless and full of love. You’re so awesome in your words and character, sometimes I feel undeserving. And then I remember how well we meld together, how it’s like we were already one spiritual being in a past lifetime, and that we were torn apart just to be sewn back together now, stitched at our souls. I can’t get enough of you, and my love for you, effortlessly, naturally, and in an unending manner.
I missed you so much that I listened to our song for the first time in a long time tonight. It nearly brought me to tears. It’s crazy how a few words put to melody can have such an impact on someone’s soul. It resounds deep within me, my empty carcass the perfect acoustics…
If I could take away your pain and replace it for happiness, baby, please believe that I would. You’re the most precious and grandest motion that God has granted me, and I wouldn’t trade you for the world. I’d even trade you your pain and strife for my health and happiness to have you content and at your best; I can’t bear to see you hurt.
